The Question
by MessedUpEl
Summary: Everything begins with a question, and every question has an answer (i.e. 1 1 2). When the gang gets together and some very dangerous questions are asked – a little bit too much information is revealed. A series of four related one-shots. Romance/humor. InoShika, SasuSaku, NaruHina, NejiTen.
1. Chapter 1

The Question

Chapter 1 – What's the most interesting place you've done it – _if you know what I mean_?

* * *

Nara Shikamaru had always known that one day, his friends would be the death of him. But what he didn't know, was that that day, would be today.

It had all begun innocently enough with a game of 'Truth' when Naruto had popped the question: What's the most interesting place you've done it in? ("If you know what I mean," he added with a leer.)

Sprawled across the dormitory room shared by Shikamaru and Neji were Sasuke, Naruto, Neji, Shikamaru, Sakura, Hinata, and Tenten. Buckets of junk food were being tossed around, creating such a mess that with nostrils flared and a vein throbbing in his skull – Neji was visibly reaching the end of his tether.

Tenten, having the misfortune of sitting next to Naruto, went first and hinted heavily at her involvement with a fellow college senior she seemed to be sneaking off a lot to see lately in the rather risqué janitor's closet on the second floor.

Sitting above her in his own bunk was a rather disgruntled looking Neji – who had taken two lengthy minutes to come up with his answer that was, to say the least, quite unexpected –and he was subject to a round of noisy hooting, cat-calling, and delighted eww-ing. Neji scowled unpleasantly when he rumbled out his answer that was, "The cafeteria kitchen floor."

After him came Sasuke's monotonous answer of: "Behind a vending machine." Garnering him his own round of delighted eww-ing.

Hinata's bashful reply was much better received when she answered the question against her cousin's behest. "I-i-i-in a s-swimming pool," she said, hanging her head in shame.

Tenten's approving "Ooo" earned her Neji's irritated glare.

Shikamaru frowned in wonderment of the lack of gravitational force.

It came to Naruto's turn and he – with a sheepish look on his face – muttered: "The ladies room." For which he gained a spew of raucous laughter and a stinking glare from both Sakura and Tenten respectively.

Sakura's turn came around and she answered with her own rueful laugh, "Foosball table." Grimaces were made and lunches were thrown up.

Shikamaru made an ugly wince at the idea.

"Shikamaru!" Sakura smiled upon him menacingly. "It's your turn."

Sasuke snorted, "There's no way he can top yours."

Needless to say that a scathing glare was sent the Uchiha's way.

Shikamaru ground his teeth as he sorted through cloudy images of his most recent sexual escapades. Knowing he was going to regret putting himself into such a predicament, Shikamaru surfaced with his answer and dived head first into trouble. "Againstawindow," he muttered, a light flush creeping onto his neck.

Sasuke's mouth twitched.

"Sorry what was that?" Naruto asked, a brilliant smile stretching across his face.

Sakura wrinkled her nose playfully, "Yeah, I didn't quite catch that."

Shikamaru could've sworn he heard Neji snicker.

Grumbling under his breath Shikamaru ripped off the band-aid, "Against. A. Window." He ground out.

Terse silence pervaded the room until Naruto busted out laughing and giggles erupted from every corner.

"Oh! The mighty Shikamaru's true colors have been revealed!"

"Closet exhibitionist!"

"That one takes the cake," howled Sakura.

"I think we have a winner!" Tenten chimed. As she did, the door creaked open in greeting as the final member of the gang stepped inside and the lingering scent of her perfume drifted into the room.

"Oi Pig!" Sakura called out as Ino grinned round at her friends in greeting, blonde hair damp with sweat and clothes sticking to her body as she set down her gym bag.

"Hey, sorry guys. Got caught up at practice," her voice was breathless. "What's going on?"

"Oh, we were just playing a game." Tenten grinned as Ino's face lit up.

"Ooo, what game?" Ino settled down next to Sakura who wrinkled her nose in disgust and dodged away when Ino turned to smack her.

"What's the most interesting place you've done it?" Naruto asked, eyes gleaming with the thirst for gossi – ahem – knowledge.

Shikamaru blinked at Ino's face as she mulled over the question. Short strands of her waxen hair fell into her eyes and her brows drew together with intense focus. Lips pursed and nose twitching slightly, Shikamaru could almost see the gears turning in her head when slowly, Naruto's ear-splitting voice began to turn the gears in his own head.

But by the time the realization sunk in – it was too late.

"Er – Ino –" Shikamaru began hurriedly.

"Mmm…I guess I'd have to say, against a window!" Ino announced cheerfully.

Neji raised his eyebrows.

Hinata toppled backwards.

Naruto's jaw dropped.

Tenten's eyes widened.

Sasuke's eye twitched.

Ino was befuddled.

Sakura made a curious strangling noise.

And Shikamaru's sigh sounded strangely like, "Oh, shit."

"No. _That_ one takes the cake."


	2. Chapter 2

The Question

Chapter 2 – When will people learn that shoving people in closets never solves anything?

* * *

The first time Sakura and Sasuke got into an argument, no one thought much of it. Sakura's former schoolgirl crush though thought to be long gone was still a sore subject for both the crusher and the crushee. A painful rejection many a year ago was a subject that was treaded upon lightly if not treaded upon at all.

The first time Sasuke and Sakura got into an argument, the gang had walked in on them only to find them with faces red and out of breath. And it goes without saying that they had promptly turned and left as Sakura's legendary fist and Sasuke's eternal grudges were things not to be trifled with.

The second time Sasuke and Sakura had quarreled, the gang decided that it called for a girl-to-girl, guy-to-guy sit-down, as Sakura's mussed hair and Sasuke's torn black t-shirt were beginning to look a little worrying.

The third time Sasuke and Sakura argued, everybody was beginning to get a little annoyed but the arguments just kept on coming. Sakura's hair was beginning to look a little thin and Ino could've sworn she saw what looked like bruises marring the girl's pale neck. Bags began to appear under Sasuke's eyes and Naruto claimed he'd seen red scratch marks on his chest and back.

The solution to the problem, they'd decided, though ludicrous, was sure to be effective. The plan was simple: ambush Sakura after class and kidnap Sasuke after breakfast because he was cranky if he hadn't had his early morning tomato soup.

So as Sakura left her classroom and Sasuke exited his favorite miso shop, each were whisked away (kicking and screaming), bound and gagged and stuffed into the art supply closet.

Blinking and registering their surroundings, the two banged relentlessly on the door as best as they could. Eventually, throwing exasperated looks at one another, the two ceased their incessant clobbering and waited, scrutinizing each other with wide eyes and pressing their ears against the door to listen.

"…Can you hear anything?"

Sasuke would know that loud-mouthed dobe anywhere.

"…Nothing."

Sakura could practically hear the disappointment in Tenten's voice.

"…Maybe they've killed each other."

"Shut up, Naruto. They're bound and gagged – "

If Sakura could've facepalmed, she would have.

 _"Idiots."_ Sasuke muffled through the tape stuck to his mouth.

Strange shuffling noises were accompanied by a series of profanity and girlish shrieks of pain. Then, the sound of a key sliding into the lock had the couple jumping back as the door swung upon and Hyuga Neji's towering shadow was cast upon the floor.

Ino slipped past him to peel off the duck tape pasted across Sakura's face to reveal her withering glare. Hinata appeared from beside her and loosened the ropes around her wrists, though not freeing her with an apologetic smile.

Sakura glared at Ino once Hinata had left, "What have you done to Hinata and why the hell am I being kidnapped?"

Tenten answered for her, face grim, "You and Sasuke are going to sit here and talk to each other and make up? Okay?"

Taking Sakura's stunned face as her cue, Tenten marched off in satisfaction.

Sakura gaped at her best friend like a goldfish. The said best friend merely shrugged and said, "You heard the lady."

Sasuke glared at Naruto as he yanked off the tape without any preamble, a grin stretching across his face with the likeness of a cat. "What the hell is this dobe?"

"An intervention," stated Neji, who was the perfect picture of serenity.

Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "For _what_?"

"Your troublesome feud with Sakura," replied Shikamaru with a yawn as he worked on Sasuke's bonds.

"Er, Shikamaru? I think you tightened them instead."

"Yeah, Neji told me to."

Sasuke's scathing stare turned venomous, his eyes freezing upon the Hyuga prodigy who pretended not to see, a smirk toying at the corners of his mouth.

Then a flash went off and Sasuke blinked.

Neji smirked as he put away his phone. "For later use."

Sasuke snarled.

As the others began to shuffle out of the room, Shikamaru stood tall, looking down at Sasuke, hands stuffed into his pockets.

"Oi! Shikamaru!" Ino called melodiously from the doorway.

Shikamaru sighed, but Sasuke could almost see his ears twitch in inclination. "Coming, coming."

Looking wearily at Sasuke, Shikamaru let out a breath, "Good luck, man."

Then he turned and left, shutting the door behind him and leaving Sasuke with Sakura, faces lit only by the dim glow of the light bulb swinging precariously above them.

Sakura, wrists still bound together by rope at the small of her back, slid down across from him. She stared at him pointedly, pink brows arched as if she were saying ' _I told you so'._

Sasuke glared at her, "Don't say it."

Sakura snorted, "I won't…but we still should've told them."

Sasuke let out a long, suffering groan. "This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't told me to meet you at Neji and Shikamaru's the first time."

Sakura released a gasp of indignation, " _I_ told _you_? You were the one who couldn't keep your hands to yourself!"

"I wasn't the one who made the first move!" Sasuke retorted.

Sakura scoffed, "I can't tell who that's more insulting to – me – or you."

The tips of Sasuke's ears turned red.

"Shut up," he mumbled.

A long stretch of silence passed between to the two before Sakura finally sighed, allowing her tense muscles to relax, "You do know that this is exactly what they think we've been doing the whole time right?"

A smile flitted across his lips, "I know."

There was a pregnant pause before Sakura eased herself up and slipped over to Sasuke's wall. Sliding down beside him, Sasuke watched her with an amused smile flirting over his mouth as she wrapped her shackled hands around his own and looped her head under them so she was pressed against his chest. Just as she was about to settle into the warm cocoon and lay there for what would seem like forever, a faint squeak caught her attention from behind the door.

Bolting upright and still trapped in Sasuke's roped arms, Sakura's head banged straight into his jaw.

"Oi Neji! Where've you been?" Hissed Ino.

Neji frowned, "Well excuse me if I have better things to do than eavesdrop behind doors. Didn't you guys just have class?"

Shikamaru shrugged, "We only got here just a minute ago."

Neji almost snorted.

"What's going on?" Tenten called, appearing from behind Neji with Hinata trailing closely behind her, biting her lip nervously.

"Sakura-chan's apologising to Teme!"

Shikamaru glared at Naruto as Ino yanked him by the ear, "Shut up or they'll hear you, idiot!"

Twisting the key he produced from his back pocket in the lock twice, Neji was taken aback at the sight of two round, fearful, green eyes that stared him straight in the face the moment the closet door swung open.

Bursting through the door in a haste, Sakura pushed through her crowd of friends. Sasuke wasn't far behind her, his face twisted with annoyance.

"Oh my god I'm so sorry guys," Sakura blubbered, her face scrunched in panic. "We meant to tell you – but – oh god I just didn't know how! And Sasuke-kun was sure you guys would flip out but you're not – right? _Right?_ "

Ino's stunned face did nothing to soothe Sakura's nerves.

Tenten was frowning, "Sakura, what are you talking about?"

Her voice passed over Sakura's head like rain.

As Sakura's blubbering turned into a fountain of incoherent words, face pale with palpable fear and eyes as wide as saucers, Sakura's arms flailed about in a hopeless attempt to explain herself.

Pinching the bridge of his nose in exasperation, Sasuke stepped forward to place a hand on Sakura's shoulder, effectively shutting her up. Her mouth swung shut like a door and she pressed her lips together as if to prevent a river from spewing like a fountain.

Looking 'round at the disconcerted faces of the group, Sasuke scrutinized them all from Hinata's wide-eyed confusion to Ino's mouth parted in surprise.

Neji's quirked eyebrows to Naruto's look of sheer confusion.

Shikamaru's furrowed brow to the curious twitch of Tenten's eye.

Giving yet another long, suffering sigh, Sasuke resigned himself to his fate. "What she means to say is: we're sorry we didn't tell you we were dating."

Ino's jaw collided with the floor.

Naruto sputtered, "Y-you – and – and – and _you_?!"

Hinata looked like she was about to faint.

"Teme! You and – and – and – "

Neji snorted aloud and muttered something along the lines of "it's about time".

Tenten pinched herself and Shikamaru looked like he was searching for the trash can – to puke into.

"YOU AND SAKURA-CHAN ARE WHAT?!"


	3. Chapter 3

The Question

Chapter 3 – Mother may – you not?!

* * *

Friday nights for the group of young, hot-blooded, and horny twenty-some year-olds were reserved for what was dubbed 'study group' but was in actuality 'let's sit around and eat' night. Every week they whirled through a different house like a tornado complete with stained carpets, broken chair legs, and a sea of rubbish. This week, as fate would have it, tragedy befell two members of the group in the form of Uzumaki Kushina.

Friday nights – according to Tenten – required heavy doses of action flicks. Chick flicks – according to Sakura – and action flicks with hot, sweaty, shirtless men – according to the one and only Yamanaka Ino.

So as most occasions proceeded, so did this by order of the blonde haired, blue-eyed beauty.

And as for the boys, none of this really mattered save for the presence of good food and the ability to sprawl around the living room in undignified heaps.

So, as the Uchiha Compund was released from its night of torture, the Uzumaki Clan House was up to the task of providing for the group – but more specifically, it was Uzumaki Kushina's turn to cater to and clean up after the lot.

Uzumaki Kushina, though in posession of a great temper, was extremely fond of her rambunctious son's brigade of friends and was delighted to hear from him of their impending visit. Having baked a galore of delectable treats the day before, Kushina was showered with thanks and compliments by the eightsome who were feeling very well-fed. Ino made it a mental note in her head to lure Tenten into the gym to work off the calories she had not the ability to abstain from feasting on – not that Tenten would need much convincing anyway.

As the movie's credits began to roll, and Sasuke got up to fix his now – publicly announced girlfriend a drink (at which Neji's coughing spasm sounded a lot like "whipped") – Kushina promptly shooed him back into his seat as she waltzed in with a tray of brightly colored drinks, eliciting childish "ooo's" and "ahh's" from the crowd of young adults scattered about her living room. The colors were thoughtfully arranged in order from Sakura's cherry red to Hinata's electric blue and Ino's glittering violet.

Shikamaru peered at his lime-colored drink while Naruto whooped at the sight of his vivid orange fizz.

Both Sasuke and Neji were very content with their tomato juice and sparkling water respectively, while Tenten was entranced by the sight of her icy pink lemonade.

A chorus of thanks was heard and Kushina flushed with pride.

"Hope you kids enjoy the drinks!" Kushina gushed. "If you need anything else just holler!"

But just before she stepped out of the room, Kushina's sharp eyes caught sight of Ino playfully draping Shikamaru's arm around her as they settled onto the cushy brown loveseat. Stopping in her tracks abruptly, Kushina's large eyes widened further when Sasuke did not protest as Sakura rested her head on his shoulder and curled up against him.

Kushina let out a girlish shriek and the eightsome turned to Naruto's mother, stunned.

Realisation dawned upon them.

"Oh." Sakura said, sounding sheepish, yet not moving from her place, "Uzumaki-san, we – er – uhm – yeah."

Kushina sounded like she was being choked to death.

"Sasuke-kun! Does your mother know about this?" Kushina demanded, nostrils flaring.

The faint reddening of his cheeks and the turning away of Sasuke's head was enough answer for Kushina who in turn, responded with a horrified gasp.

Then she whirled around to face Shikamaru and Ino who were doing their best to shrink away from Kushina whose tomato red hair looked like it was about to go up in flames.

Shikamaru had once compared mothers with Naruto to determine who was scarier – and Kushina's temper had come out on top.

"Ehh – Uzumaki-san, w-we can explain. You see – " Ino's trembling voice was cut off by another earth shattering shriek.

"Yamanaka Ino! What would your father say? And _you_ – Nara Shikamaru! I am going to have a talk with your mother, young man! Hiding this sort of thing from your parents! Bless their soul!"

"But Uzumaki-san – "

"Disgraceful I tell you! Even my own idiot son had the decency to tell me about him and Hinata-chan!"

Silence crashed into the room like a wrecking ball but Kushina blasted onwards, oblivious.

"Well?! What do you have to say for yourselves?"

Tenten was the first to speak up, albeit very very slowly as if her brain had momentarily short-circuited, "Naruto and Hinata…?"

Slowly, all eyes were drawn to a red-faced, thumb twiddling Hyuga Hinata and a sheepish Uzumaki Naruto who looked like he was about ready to sink into the sofa.

Realisation dawned upon Kushina and she began to laugh nervously.

"Ehehe…er…well, have fun kids!"

And with that, she was gone from the room in a swirl of dying red flames.

…

"…I can't believe we had to find out from your mother."


	4. Chapter 4

The Question

Chapter 4 – So who's left?

* * *

While Friday nights and the fiascos that came with were over by Saturday afternoon, another uproar was brought about during a picnic in the park.

"Hey guys," Sakura mused breaking the comfortable silence of the three couples that basked in the shade, "Why are Tenten and Neji not together?"

Sasuke's groan went unnoticed.

Ino perked up and sat up off of the grass, disrupting Shikamaru's slumber as he scowled up at her from her lap. "Good point, Forehead. Notice how they're always like, together and stuff?"

Hinata nodded her head vigorously, "I almost never see Neji-nii as relaxed with anyone other than Tenten-san."

Naruto made a humming noise as if he were rolling the idea back and forth around in his head, then he piped up, "Come to think of it, where are those two?"

The rest jerked out of their love bubble, heads whipping round in search of the duo.

"They're over there," Shikamaru grumped, pointing to a spot in the distance at the bottom of the hill.

Looking in the direction of Shikamaru's finger, in the glistening sunlight that broke through fluffy white clouds, stood Tenten and Neji. The former knelt as she spoke to a young boy who peered at her shyly from behind his mother's legs and the latter watched her with a soft, indulgent smile curving at the corner of his mouth.

"Is he – "

Ino shushed Sakura with an elbow to her side.

Hinata's eyes were glued to the scene as her cousin waved down a man in a red jacket selling equally as red…were those heart-shaped balloons?

Sasuke's jaw went slack and his eye began to twitch.

Shikamaru's face was blank as Neji paid for a balloon and looked as if he was about to hand it to Tenten when instead, he knelt down and held it out to the boy, lips quirked upward in amusement.

The gang watched as Tenten said something that made the boy giggle and take the balloon from Neji's outstretched arm.

"That…just happened didn't it?"

Watching as the duo waved to the mother and child as they walked off smilingly, the two then started back up the hill and Sakura scrambled to her feet.

Ino snapped up at her, "Oi Forehead! What do you think you're doing?"

Sakura stared ahead with a determined look on her face, "I'm going to make those two idiots realise that they're perfect for each other."

Sasuke stared up blankly at her and briefly wondered why he was in a relationship.

Hinata nibbled on her bottom lip, "Eh – Sakura-chan, maybe it's best that you leave them to themselves."

Sasuke sighed, "Sakura. Stop meddling with other people's lives."

Shikamaru shrugged nonchalantly, "What harm could it do?"

Slowly, every muscle in every body twitched and robotically propelled itself to turn to the Nara genius who excelled in the art of sleep, catnaps, and shuteye.

Sasuke gritted his teeth, "Nara."

Naruto peered at them, "Dude. What's with you two?"

"Nothing," Shikamaru said breezily.

Sasuke glared at him.

"Ohhhkay," Ino eyed them both skeptically.

Any further inquiry was dispelled when Neji and Tenten reached the top of the hill, Tenten smiling at her friends merrily.

Sakura shared a look with Ino and the two best friends dashed towards them at lightning speed.

"Shit," Sasuke muttered, getting to his feet and racing after his girlfriend.

"Oi Sasuke!" Shikamaru shouted after him. Muttering curses under his breath, Shikamaru took off after the trio. "No interfering Uchiha! Those were the rules!"

His protests went unnoticed, leaving a stunned Hyuuga and Uzumaki behind.

"Ne, Naruto-kun – "

"Ikuzu Hinata-chan!"

And with that, Naruto pulled his bewildered girlfriend behind him, racing to catch up with his friends, a brilliant smile stretched across his face.

 _Oh, his friends were so much fun._

As Neji and Tenten approached the tree his friends had been basking under last they left them, Neji found that instead Shikamaru's blonde-haired, blue-eyed girlfriend and Sasuke's pink-haired, green-eyed lady friend were charging towards them with alarming speed.

Tenten's eyes widened in surprise when out of the blue horizon came Sasuke and hot on his tail, a haggard-looking Shikamaru. The latter seemed to be yelling animatedly at the Uchiha, aggravated by the lack of attention he was getting.

"What are they…" Tenten trailed off when Sakura let out a loud and very disruptive: "CHAAAAAAA!"

Neji's eardrums nearly shattered from the sheer volume of their voices as Naruto began to shout at his friends in encouragement: "GABATEEEEE! SAKURA-CHAN! INO! TEME! SHIKAMARUUUUUU!"

Tenten almost choked on her own spit, "What the _hell_ is going on?!" She demanded.

"TENTEN!" Sakura yelled in her ear as she reached them.

"Ow! What?!"

"WHY THE HELL AREN'T YOU AND NEJI TOGETHER?!"

"Wha – huh?"

"Yamanaka – "

"Dammit Sakura! Stop sticking your nose in other people's business!"

"Shut up Sasuke! You're supposed to be supportive!"

"Troublesome. She's right you know Sasuke, you should be – "

"Shut it Nara."

"I'm not the one who's breaking the rules."

"Piss off."

"HEY GUYS! WHAT'S UP?!"

"SHUT UP NARUTO. Anyway, stop screwing around you two, you guys are perfect for each other – "

Inn's voice was muffled by the hand Sasuke had slapped over her mouth.

"Get your hands of my girlfriend Uchiha."

"She's intefering."

"She wasn't a part of the – "

"Sasuke-kun! Let Ino talk!"

"But – "

"NOW!"

"…"

"Whipped."

"Shut up Hyuuga."

"Back to the point! Neji and Tenten: we have come to the conclusion that you guys are meant to be."

"Reason one: You're always together."

"Uh – Sakura – "

"Reason two: You've got this like – weird thing where like, someone gets jealous of someone but then tries not to show it to the someone but really wants to kill the someone's someone and – "

"Look, Ino, we – "

"Reason three! Neji actually smiles when you guys are together! I mean, how cute is that?"

"Haruno."

"Reason four: you guys would have – like – the cutest babies."

"Totally! Dude, Tenten, he's like – drop dead gorgeous – "

 **Cough**

"Er – love you Sasuke-kun!"

"No! But she's right!"

"Ino!"

"Neji. Tenten is gorgeous, okay? So just ask her out already! Don't you agree, Hinata? Shouldn't he just ask her out?"

"Hai! Nii-san, I think you and Tenten-san would make a great match!"

"I agree with Hinata-chan!"

"I second it."

"Shut up Nara. You're breaking the rules."

"And just what've you been doing this whole time?"

"Guys, just listen to us!"

"Ooo – and me, Pig, and Hinata could be bridesmaids at your ridiculously expensive wedding, because c'mon, let's face it Ten, he doesn't just have brains and brawn, he's got pockets full of gold – "

"HARUNO!"

"Yes, Neji? Have you finally agreed to ask her out? Because I'm telling you, she'd make a great wife. She's got great looks, she's an amazing cook, and she never forgets anything so you'll always be – "

"Forehead! You're forgetting that one time when she forgot to – "

"Pig! We weren't supposed to talk about that!"

"Oh right! Er – well, nevermind."

"HARUNO!"

"Point is – just go on a date with her – "

"WHO THE HELL SAYS WE AREN'T ALREADY DATING?!"

…

"Uchiha. You owe me fifty bucks man."


End file.
